Isaiah 41:10 ESV

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

In the early hours of Saturday 9th May, I looked in the bathroom mirror and did not recognise myself. After a few days of thinking a chest infection was working on me, I feared it was more serious…Covid 19. I looked grey and my lips were blue. When I told the nurse on the other end of the phone that I felt I was going to pass out, she told me to put the phone down immediately and dial 999.

It’s only the 2nd time I’ve been in an ambulance…but this time I was the patient. Thankfully I live 10 minutes away from a hospital but the journey felt like forever. All sorts of things were going through my head…what if it’s Covid?…will I see my boys again?…what about my family?…what about all the places I’d never been or things I’d not yet done with my boyfriend?…would I come out of hospital alive or in a box?

Deep down I knew that God was with me and I knew He would give me peace that passeth all understanding. I was taken into a room and my obs were taken as well as an X-ray and of course I was tested for the virus. Soon I was told I had pneumonia and so I was hooked up to a drip and required oxygen before being moved to a room on the Covid ward.

This was a hospital I was familiar with. I’d visited friends and relatives and even taken the Squid there for broken arms and fingers, but now, it looked alien to me. All the members of staff were ladened down with PPE and the usually busy corridors were deserted as I was moved upstairs.

After a peaceful night a doctor saw me in the afternoon and confirmed I’d pneumonia which required antibiotics but I would still have to wait 24 hours to find out if I’d tested positive.

…And it was… On the Lord’s Day I received the news I was dreading. I was moved down to a bigger ward where my treatment would continue for a further 2 days.

Most of the time I slept, waking only for nurses to take my obs and to attempt to eat. My phone was my lifeline. My boyfriend had driven my mum to the hospital to drop off things I needed. My mum phoned me to check which ward I was in. This distressed me. Knowing they were both so close and under normal circumstances could have visited but this pandemic has done away with normal.

Texts, Whattsapp and Messenger were how I communicated with others. As a Christian, prayer is a major part of my life. I talk to my Heavenly Father numerous times throughout the day and I knew I had an army of prayer warriors available to me as a member of God’s family. Many, many prayed for me and still are. Loved ones, family, friends, colleagues, my church family, other churches and even other believers from around the globe. As I look back over the abundance of communications I received, I am overwhelmed by the live and kindness shown towards me and I am humbled.

Many sent Scriptures like the one I started with and these were so comforting at such a time as this. Others phoned and prayed with me, but there were many late night chats that really encouraged me.

On Tuesday 12th May I was to be sent home as I no longer required hospital care. I looked at the nurse bewildered and asked her how I would get home? She replied that whoever picked me up would have to self isolate for 2 weeks like myself. I almost cried as I told her that I lived alone, my father was ill, I had no siblings and I couldn’t put anyone else at risk. So I prayed again and a little while later was wheeled out of the ward to claps from the staff risking their lives daily. As I entered the corridor I could feel the fresh air and it felt good. The ambulance dropped me at my front door. What now?

I can honestly say I’ve never felt as sorry for myself as I did at that moment. I was weak, exhausted, still coughing, still on antibiotics, still ill. How was I going to cope?

God knew I needed strength to change my bed, clean my bathroom, put on some washing and begin cleaning the house. That night as I lay in bed thanking the Lord for coming out of hospital alive and breathing fresh air, the words of an old hymn came to mind. The 3rd verse says-: “He is not a disappointment! He is all in all to me- Saviour, Sanctifier, Keeper; The unchanging Christ is He! He has won my heart’s affections, And He meets my every need; He is not a disappointment, For He satisfies indeed.”

Over the next week, ladies from my church family provided me with lunches and dinners(and desserts😊). Cards arrived in the post, shopping was done and my lawns and hedges tended to. Every need I had was met and more. I was reminded by the Lord again of the passage in Matthew 6:26-34 where Jesus speaks of how God looks after the birds of the air and yet we are of more value than they. In the same passage He tells us not to worry because it doesn’t do anything for us.

Over the next 2 weeks I found myself telling others that I was getting my strength daily from the Lord. In Exodus 17, the Israelites were in battle. When Moses held his arms up, the battle went in their favour but when his arms tired and dropped, they began to lose. God had gone before them. Aaron and Hur stood with Moses. When his arms tired, they held them up. Wow!!!! When I didn’t have the strength to look after myself, God had gone before me and provided others to help me.

I also remembered the words of a man in our church prayer meeting. -God’s not done with me yet. That’s what I firmly believe, He has something yet for me to do in this world I don’t call home, that I’m just passing through.

Thanks for reading.