belief

3:14

| JoyfulArtist
Philippians 3:14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

3:14

Most people would look at that number and associate it with the mathematical term Pi. For me for many years though it was the numbers of my digital clock, glaring at me in the darkness.

After my second bout of depression, this was the time I woke up at in the early hours of the morning. At first I thought I was imagining it but as the days and weeks went on, the realisation set in-I was waking up at this time every morning.

It was like a jolt. Suddenly I would be wide awake and my eyes were automatically drawn to the clock, hoping and praying I would see a different number, but no, there it was…3:14.

Why am I bringing this up now you may ask. It’s simple really. It’s back! It’s almost like an old friend who you haven’t seen in awhile turning up on your doorstep. It doesn’t scare me or make me feel that I’m staring into the dark place that is depression again. It’s more like a warning. Like when the petrol light flashes on your dashboard- you haven’t run out of petrol yet but you will if you don’t do anything about it.

At the moment we are living in very strange times. There is fear and uncertainty and there seems no end to the virus I spoke of in my last post. Many people are in despair, losing jobs, loved ones, missing friends, homeschooling….I could write an endless list.

3:14….I know that just like that petrol light, if I don’t do anything, that number will become an all too familiar sight. It is no coincidence that the Bible verse I’ve included has 3:14 in the reference. As someone close to me reminded me tonight, there is always someone in a worse situation than yourself. Reading this verse it brought to mind my purpose as a believer and follower of Christ. I have to keep going every day with His help and press on towards the goal set before me. My life is not my own but His. It was paid for on Calvary. As my pastor says, we are saved to serve. So my purpose is to press on and serve and glorify Him and I encourage you to do the same.

Thanks for reading.

Birthdays, Creativity and Beliefs

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The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying: “Arise and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause you to hear My words.” Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make. Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?” says the Lord. “Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel!

Jeremiah 18:1-6

As a child I used to watch a programme on tv called The Generation Game. Sometimes the contestants would be given the task of making something out of clay on a Potters wheel. They were given a demonstration first by a professional potter who of course made it look so simple. Sometimes they had trouble enough keeping the clay on the wheel. The amateurs’ attempts were just that. They often in no way resembled what they had been asked to create it. This is what I was reminded of when I read the verses from Jeremiah. I’ll come back to this in a mo.

Its my birthday soon, one which I will not spend with the Squid or Ginger Kitten. It is not a milestone birthday either. It does however mark another year since I was born. I don’t feel my age, I never have and no doubt I ever will. It’s not that I am in denial, I just like my mum and her mum before her have a youthful outlook on life.

So of course with birthdays come celebrations. I had an early one this year with my BFF. We spent a special time together and one that will be memorable. For as long as I remember, we have been creative together. As teenagers we made things and in our 20s, we attended a quilting class together. So to celebrate this birthday my BFF was taking me to a place you could choose a piece of pottery, paint it and take it home after coffee and cake of course.

Unlike the contestants on the game show, We didn’t have to make our piece of pottery. There was a huge selection to choose from so we chose plates to decorate. We then had to choose sponges with which to decorate our plates. We had great pleasure spending time discussing what colours we would use, what theme our plate would have, which sponges to use and then got on with it. I stopped a few times thinking I was finished then added on a few more details. We had really enjoyed the experience and I’m planning my next visit already.

While I was there, I was reminded of these verses in Jeremiah.God had a message for Jeremiah and He put it across in a very visual way. Jeremiah was obedient to the Lord and went and watched the potter at work. As he observed the craftsman who no doubt had made vast numbers of vessels, the one he was working on became marred. An unusual word – just the kind I like. Marred means that something has been ruined or spoiled, the flaw that makes something outstanding less than perfect. I have a flaw, many in fact. You dear reader have a flaw, as does all of humanity and it is called sin. All of us were fearfully and wonderfully made in our mothers’ wombs and yet we are all flawed.

Thankfully, the potter whom Jeremiah visited did not cast the lump of clay aside rendered useless. No, he made a new vessel out of it. Then God revealed to Jeremiah why he was really in the house of the potter. He had a message for Jeremiah and therefore a message for us. The Lord is the potter in our lives. He believes in second chances. He believes He can take something marred and make it into something new.

So it’s my belief that although I have been marred by past experiences, God will not cast me aside but will make me anew, a living , serving vessel for Him.

We’ve been blessed with sunshine recently on this little isle and so today I decided to get some sketching done in the early evening. Sunshine lifts our spirits and motivates us and encourages .

It also makes me feel joyful on my journey to joy.

Restoring a Masterpiece

| JoyfulArtist

At the moment I am feeling very thankful for being alive. I have much to be thankful for but why being alive? As a sufferer of a number of depressive episodes that I hinted to in my last post, I had many days I felt quite the opposite of thankful. I couldn’t thank God, I didn’t want to thank Him . I just didn’t desire to be alive anymore, to my shame. Yet each episode came and went and each time I’ve acknowledged God’s part in that.

But… I know you shouldn’t start a sentence with it , but each time, although I came through it, life wasn’t the same as before. Often I tried to convince myself that I never would be the same because you change as you go through life or depression changes you.

However this time it’s different. So that got me thinking. Dangerous I know but Why? How? This time I’m not living in the same toxic environment I’d found myself in. I’m living in my own home that the Lord provided me with. More than that, I’ve returned to my first love – Jesus.

For a long time I was trying to please a man while trying t make myself believe that I was a Christian; I attended church(albeit a Sunday morning); I read my Bible(not with the discipline my Pastor spoke of recently or with the hunger I had when first converted); I prayed(not with the fervency of the young woman on her knees surrendering her right to motherhood to the Lord or the student who organised prayer meetings and nights of prayer for CU) and I served the Lord(not with the urgency or dedication of my younger self who had taught Sunday School and took part in various other roles before marriage).

I had been trying to please a man, not my love – my Saviour, my Redeemer, the One with whom my relationship is more important than anything else. My relationship with Him is one that is going to last forever. After that, God came close and spoke to me through Scripture.

Our Pastor’s wife had given out the card in the photo at one of our women’s meetings and I’ve been using it as a prompt each week in my prayer journal which I began at the start of 2019. The title says – You Are Who God Says You Are. So far, I’ve covered You Are Beautiful, You Are Unique and You Are Loved which led to this post. The verse accompanying it is Jeremiah 31:3.

“The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:’Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with loving kindness I have drawn you.'”

Jeremiah was speaking of a time when the Lord was restoring the nation of Israel just as I am presently living in a time of restoration in my broken life! Wow! How amazing to think that the same God who loved a nation to restore it, also loved me – an individual, enough to restore me.

This was when my mind went into overdrive. I’m a visual person. I am an artist. Restoration made me think of a masterpiece in an art gallery. Over the years, dirt, dust, grime, moisture, pollen and particles of goodness knows what will silently adhere to the painted canvas until a curator decides it needs to be restored to its former glory. It is x-rayed and examined and worked on and quite often when the layers are taken away there may even be objects that had been hidden so long they change the look of the masterpiece.

What has this to do with me and my restoration process? I too am the a masterpiece. I’m not being vain, my Bible tells me in Psalm 139:14

“…I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

Not only that but when I first came to Christ He made me new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come,” ESV

I feel like a papier-mâché model covered in glue and sheets of newspaper with printed words. For years, words were spoken over me that I believed until I became someone I didn’t even recognise myself in the mirror. The Lord is restoring me. He is carefully dissolving the glue and peeling off the layers of newspaper. Every now and again ‘she’ shines through. Friends and acquaintances have remarked I ‘look alive ‘ or that ‘I’m enjoying life more’. Some people who have known me since forever have even stated that they can see ‘the old me’. I have to correct them there.

That is not the case. Just like the once hidden objects that change the look of the masterpiece, it’s not ‘the old me’ they see but a revelation of the person God wants me to be.

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Thanks for reading x