despair

3:14

| JoyfulArtist
Philippians 3:14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

3:14

Most people would look at that number and associate it with the mathematical term Pi. For me for many years though it was the numbers of my digital clock, glaring at me in the darkness.

After my second bout of depression, this was the time I woke up at in the early hours of the morning. At first I thought I was imagining it but as the days and weeks went on, the realisation set in-I was waking up at this time every morning.

It was like a jolt. Suddenly I would be wide awake and my eyes were automatically drawn to the clock, hoping and praying I would see a different number, but no, there it was…3:14.

Why am I bringing this up now you may ask. It’s simple really. It’s back! It’s almost like an old friend who you haven’t seen in awhile turning up on your doorstep. It doesn’t scare me or make me feel that I’m staring into the dark place that is depression again. It’s more like a warning. Like when the petrol light flashes on your dashboard- you haven’t run out of petrol yet but you will if you don’t do anything about it.

At the moment we are living in very strange times. There is fear and uncertainty and there seems no end to the virus I spoke of in my last post. Many people are in despair, losing jobs, loved ones, missing friends, homeschooling….I could write an endless list.

3:14….I know that just like that petrol light, if I don’t do anything, that number will become an all too familiar sight. It is no coincidence that the Bible verse I’ve included has 3:14 in the reference. As someone close to me reminded me tonight, there is always someone in a worse situation than yourself. Reading this verse it brought to mind my purpose as a believer and follower of Christ. I have to keep going every day with His help and press on towards the goal set before me. My life is not my own but His. It was paid for on Calvary. As my pastor says, we are saved to serve. So my purpose is to press on and serve and glorify Him and I encourage you to do the same.

Thanks for reading.

HARSH WORDS

| JoyfulArtist

I’m not at home this weekend which is a rarity. No visit to the beach but a weekend away with a group of my church family. A weekend of fun, food, fellowship and emerging ourselves in God’s precious Word.

…Harsh Words!

Words… are made up of letters which are put into sentences – that’s at the most basic level. That’s what I explain to the little people I teach when they are learning to write.

…Harsh Words!

Words…are a form of communication which can be written, read, spoken aloud or even sung. They are more than just squiggles on a page or other surface. They hold meaning. We use them to express our feelings, emotions, opinions and so much more.

…Harsh Words!

Words…can be used for good or bad; creation or destruction; encouragement or criticism; love or hatred; enlightenment or ignorance. The list is endless.

…Harsh Words!

On this weekend we have had 3 sessions so far. However it is 2 words from the first that have been spinning around in my head – HARSH WORDS. As you know by now, the past few years have been a difficult journey. As one of our speakers reminded us, on our walk of faith we will experience difficult journeys that will have, yes, will have valley and mountain top experiences as well as smooth and rough roads. All of this I can testify to.

One thing we experience on a difficult journey are – Harsh Words! Proverbs 18:21 says: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat it’s fruit.”

This verse in the book of Proverbs reminds us that our words have an impact on other people. This is something I have mentioned before. Our words are a serious matter. Everyone knows the childhood rhyme – “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” – I think everyone also knows that the second part of the rhyme is a complete lie. Names/words will hurt no matter how strong or resilient we are.

I always believed I was a strong person. I always believed I was a strong person. Emotional, but strong. I thought I could listen to what people said and if it wasn’t pleasant, I could just let it go over my head. How wrong I was. You see, I didn’t take into account that I would have to listen continually to negative words Day in day out, week in week out, year in year out until I was broken in spirit and completely overwhelmed by despair. Neither did I anticipate it coming from someone I loved.

It wasn’t until a short while after the Squid’s 4th Birthday when there was a family illness and I experienced another depressive episode that the light bulb went on inside my head. Something had worn me down. Something had worked its way inside my head until I had no self worth or confidence – HARSH words over and over. So how do we overcome them? How do we ignore or avoid them? Ultimately it cost me my marriage. Where was the love when negativity choked my joie de vivre?

This verse I pray when I hear harsh words. Isaiah 54:17

“No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper; and every tongue that shall against me in judgement thou shalt condemn….”

I also pray these words over the Squid and Ginger Kitten because they still hear those Harsh Words on a regular basis. The impact it has I try to counteract when they are with me but I leave it in God’s hands because He is greater than he who is in the world.

So remember, think before you speak as your words have an impact and God’s Word has a mighty impact on us all.

Thank you for reading.