family

Christmas 2019

| JoyfulArtist

“Mummy, do you know some people call Christmas-Xmas? That is just like taking Christ out of Christmas. I don’t like it.” These were the words spoken by the Ginger Kitten a few days before he finished school.

I was so pleased to hear him speak these words at such a young age. He realises the importance of the word and what it means to us believers at this time of year.

It can be a huge trigger for many, especially those who suffer from depression like myself or who have other physical/mental illnesses. I was determined this year not to dip as low as I had last year.

I am a facilitator for WRAP which is a recovery program. Wellness Recovery Action Plan. It is something I’ve done for around five years now and which I’m quite passionate about as anyone I’ve spoken to on the subject will know.

WRAP allows an individual to plan for situations which may trigger off a period in which they are unwell. Christmas as I said can be such a trigger.

So how did I plan? I wrote lists – lists of who was going to receive a present and what it was. I made a lot of presents this year, and that in itself helped me in a therapeutic way. I looked at who was coming to dinner and when which also helped with shopping. I rested. I took time out instead of running around like a headless chicken. I breathed – I downloaded an app to help me breathe and sleep and…I spent time with those I love.

All of this planning helped a lot but so did the love and support of those close to me. I belong to a small family but we are close and always there for one another.

This Christmas I was privileged to spend many happy times with another family. Not everyone shares these experiences. However, at this time of year we remember how Jesus left His Father and was born into a family here on earth. Family is important to God. He never intended us to live alone. He created the family unit to provide love and support and to make each day easier as we help each other practically too. I am also a member of God’s family. I am a daughter of the King and there are so many brothers and sisters in Christ for whom I am truly grateful who added to the joy I experienced this season.

There was a lot of fun this Christmas. Fun being off work, fun trying new things, fun seeing my boys open their presents, fun with family, fun going out for the day and fun making memories together.

Celebrating my faith, spending time with loved ones all have given me hope for the year ahead. But as 1 Corinthians 13:13 says:

“And now abide faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Love has been evident to me this Christmas. God loved me so much that He let His only Son come to earth and be born in a lowly stable. Jesus left Heaven knowing one day He would die on a cross for my sins. So as I go through 2020 I want love to be more evident in my life as I live each day for Him and His glory.

Thanks for reading

Fathers Day…16th June

| JoyfulArtist

Today in the UK we are celebrating our fathers, grandfathers, fathers in law and father figures in general. I was intrigued to know how this tradition began. It seems to have come from across the pond in the US where in 1910, a young woman was inspired during a mothers’ day sermon to honour her father.

I am fortunate to have my father or daddy as I call him, still with me. I realise there are many today who will visit graves to remember the father they once had.

My daddy called me his princess on my wedding day and of course it made me cry. What girl wouldn’t? When I was a baby, he used to sit at the bottom of my cot to check I was breathing. At 3, he taught me how to swim, taking away any fear of the water and making it fun. At school I shed many tears over maths homework’s and my daddy always knew how to solve those equations. When my first boyfriend dumped me, my daddy was there to hug his princess. When I started driving, he would always stay awake until I came in at night and as a student he wrote the most heartfelt letters, phoned everyday and often drove to the main postal office in Belfast to ensure I got an envelope with money the very next day…

Those are just some of the examples of the things my daddy has done for me over my lifetime. Of course there are other things I have learned from my dad and acquired from him.

He is not afraid to show his emotions. He worked hard all his life and instilled this work ethic in me. He loves reading, a passion we both share. You can overcome adversity. When you do something, you give it 100%. Family comes first, love conquers all and that we all need God in our life.

Sadly, not everyone can relate to this important man in my life. Not everyone has a loving father or one who is interested in them or who will do anything for them. There are those who may read this who have never had a father figure in their life. There are those who may have had an abusive father or have been abandoned by him at some point in their lives. Or maybe like my boys, the relationship between parents has broken down…

I often think about the effect on my two boys. The Squid is older and has more knowledge of what went on before I finally left the family home. He is a deep thinker and a worrier. Usually you can see it on his face. He’s been angry and sad about what has happened. The important thing is to let him talk about it. To try and see it through his eyes and of course, pray with him and for him.

The Ginger Kitten is a different story. He was so tiny when we broke up , nothing really was said. The transition is equally difficult for him as it is for the rest of us, but through time hopefully he will have more of an understanding of the whys and wherefore.

Looking for love after divorce is difficult for most. I am no exception. As someone who was used to putting the needs of others first before her own, it comes as no surprise to me that quite often when I’ve spoken about the type of man I’m looking for, I think about how ‘he’ will meet the needs of my boys. Looking for love for me isn’t just about me. I have 2 little people too. They come along with the emotional baggage we divorcees trail behind us.

My boys need a spiritual leader first and foremost. I tried to fulfil this role for many years but do believe a man should be the spiritual leader in the home. They need someone who puts family first, who is interested in the small stuff as well as the bigger issues. Someone who takes time to talk with them about what is important in their life and spend time with them. Someone who loves their mother and works with her to train them up in the way they should go. Is this just a pipe dream? Definitely not. Such men do exist.

In Psalm 68:5-6 we can see how every family derives it’s name from the Father and God the Father is the model for headship in our families.

“A father of the fatherless,

A defender of windows,

Is God in His holy habitation.

God sets the solitary in families;

He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;

But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”

All of us can have an experience with our Heavenly Father. All of us have a relationship with Him, either one where we can accept him as a father or one where we are rebellious and not accepting of his love and grace or anything else he is willing to bestow on us.

So this Fathers’ Day think not only of your earthly father but of a Heavenly one who loves you with an everlasting love.

Thanks for reading.