This is the time of year in schools when reports are given out. I’ve waited ever so patiently for the Ginger Kitten to receive his 1st primary school report and for the Squid’s end of year report of High School.
Achievement is what teachers report on. We have to think of 30 different ways of saying the same thing. Reports send dread into the minds of many children and parents. Not everyone is a high achiever. Not every child receives top marks in tests or exams and so they often wonder what they have actually achieved.
I suppose that is why in school reports today, we do also comment on what children enjoy about school. It makes it more personal and gives the impression that we do know the children in our class when we mention little details like their favourite toy or some phrase they always say.
There is a difference between these 2 things. When I was diagnosed with PND after the Squid’s birth, I would meet with a CPN who would encourage me each day to write down something I had achieved and something I had enjoyed. That’s easy enough you may think-not so when you are suffering from depression, when you don’t seem to enjoy anything anymore and getting one foot out of the bed is an achievement. In those early days of recording my achievements versus the things I enjoyed, there were definitely more of the former than the latter. It was an achievement washing my hair; eating 3 meals a day; leaving the house for a reason other than giving my then husband a lift to work. Things I’d once enjoyed just didn’t feature in my life anymore.
However, something happened recently that reminded me of that time when I jotted things down in a spiral bound notebook with a pink flower on the cover.
A few months ago I spent a couple of afternoons cutting out squares and circles -49 of each-from cotton fabric. I wouldn’t say I enjoyed it, but, it was an achievement. I hadn’t made a quilt in a long time. I had bought fabric before the Ginger Kitten was born but hadn’t actually got round to making it for him.
Last weekend I attended a quilt exhibition with my BFF. Being surrounded in that small sanctuary by all the fabric, the myriad of colours, the simplicity of some and the complexity of the patterns of others fascinated me and I could feel a stirring up of my passion for textiles. So, I went home, got the circles and squares and dusted down the case of my sewing machine. I started the process of matching circles to complimentary squares and appliquéd them to one another with brightly coloured thread to match the warm, bright colours of the batiks. Before I knew it, photos were being sent to friends of the progress being made. I looked forward to spending a little time each day with my old friend, hearing my machine purr contentedly under my direction.
Hold on! This was not a sense of achievement being reported on . No! This was once again an enjoyable past time. My motivation to get this quilt complete so that I could begin another project I wanted to attempt was building up inside me. I took down numerous books to look for inspiration. I even ventured out to the shed to bring in my stash of fabric and collection of threads.
It was as if enjoyment had sneaked up behind achievement and overtaken it at the last corner in the last minute to win the race.
In the Christian life, God wants us to have an abundant life but we are also accountable. I for one know that I wish to hear those words ‘Well done, good and faithful servant’. However, the relationship I have with the Lord does not depend on works. Yes, I am saved to serve, but works alone can never achieve salvation.
Even in this hobby of quilting I look for ways I can encourage others in their faith, point souls to Him or just glorify God with the talent He has bestowed upon me. So I make gifts for friends, family and colleagues and as I spend the hours seeing by hand or machine, I can pray with each stitch that is completed. What a privilege to spend time talking with the Lord while doing something I enjoy so much.
Thanks for reading,
Journey to Joy 